


why won't they believe

by hamillover4life



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hallucinations, Insanity, Kidnapping, M/M, Pity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-17 04:30:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14180646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamillover4life/pseuds/hamillover4life
Summary: john goes missing and its tears alex apart, one day he see him but no one will believe him. his friends start to worry about him and alex is taken away. how will he convince everyone else he is not insane.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hamillover4life](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamillover4life/gifts).



 

“Alexandre what are you talking about you need to go.”

“I can’t go laf please don’t make me.”

“You right I can’t make you go, but please you need to go to his funeral.”

“Laf, i can’t. One it's not a real funeral they don’t have a body, and two, it's just too hard i can’t go through this again.” laf looked at him confused

“Again?”

“My mother, brother and cousin. I just can't stand to buy another person I love.” laf nodded, 

“Okay fine, what should I tell them if they ask why they are not there?”

“Well they know me so just tell them my depression is acting up again.” laf looked at him confused again,

“Is that not what is happening?” alex chuckled,

“Yes and no, it's not that bad yes just a little but I hope if I don’t go to the funeral it won’t get worse.”

“Alex that is silly.”

“Even if I'm wrong it will be worse for everyone else if im there, i already heard eliza and you talking about staying strong for me.”

“Ale-”

“No its fine, i know I have lots of issues and problems, please go, grieve properly.” laf smiled

“I will call you when its is over.” alex smiled a little,

“Thank you, stay safe.”

“I will, bye.”

“Bye.” laf left, alex sighed and walked to his bedroom. He felt coldness as soon as he walked in. it was lacking something, lacking love and comfort. Lacking happiness and joy, a free spirit and whimsy, thoughtfulness and understanding. It was missing john. He sat on the bed, half of it was his the other belonged to a man who was gone and never coming back. The pictures on the bed side table made alex’s heart break, it was of him and john. The first one was them on their first date, then the beach on there 4 year anniversary, john proposing to alex on the beach the same night. their engagement party that the schuyler sisters threw for them, there wedding john looked amazing, then there honeymoon in nevis. John surprises him, at first alex was scared to go back because of all the people he knew from his childhood. But it was amazing, everyone was so sweet and caring, they all told him how proud they were for making a name for himself in america. Alex had never been happier then when he was sitting on the beach with john watching the sunset on the beaches of nevis, the same beach him and his family used to sit on before the family fell apart. They last photo was a picture of john and alex, laf and herc surprised them with a breakfast in bed for no reason whatsoever, didn’t make sense but it was amazing they both looked a mess after just waking up. The next week john went missing, the day they framed it to be exact. Alex watched tears fall on the pictures, his heart broke again. He remembers the night he went missing, alex was talking on the phone with him nothing seemed wrong just a normal night.


	2. Chapter 2

“ _ Honey when are you getting home?” _

_ “I don’t know the hospital is very busy tonight, maybe…….two more hours.” _

_ “Ugh honey I had a great night planned for us.”  _

_ “I know alex i am sorry, but we can still have great night after i get home.” _

_ “But the food will be cold!” _

_ “Alexander…..that's not what I meant.” _

_ “Oh..oh! Ya we can do that.” john could tell he was smiling over the phone. _

_ “Well i will see you later the police just came in with someone. He does not look happy.” _

_ “Honey please be careful.” _

_ “I will love you with all of my heart.” _

_ “I love you too my dearest laurens.” alex hung up the phone and started to eat his dinner. After about an hour alex got a call for john, _

_ “Hey honey what's up?” _

_ “You won’t believe what just happened.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Well the guy who was with the police was a prisoner, i was trying to treat him but he wouldn't answer anyone my questions. So i went to go talk to the police, he was handcuffed to the bed but when i came back he was gone!” _

_ “Wait really?!” _

_ “Ya! I was so weird, like he was never there. The whole hospital was and is still on lock down looking for him. I might be here all night.” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ “Hey hey, i'm sorry I will make it up to you.” _

_ “How?” _

_ “Oh you will find out.” _

_ “Okay sir, you are at work keep it professional.” john chuckled on the other side of the phone. _

_ “Hey why don’t you invite laf herc and the others over.” _

_ “I guess, they could eat all the food i made.” _

_ “I'll pray for them.” alex laughed, _

_ “Hey! My cooking isn’t that bad!!”  _

_ “Okay, okay tell that to the toilet bowl after you made chicken Parmesan two years ago.” _

_ “It's not my fault the chicken looked cooked and wasn’t” _

_ “That sounds like it was.” by now they both were laughing, “hey i got to go the police want me to go answer some more questions.” _

_ “Okay, stay safe love you.” _

_ “Love you more.” _

_ “Impossible.” _

_ “Goodbye.” _

_ “Goodbye!” alex hung up and invited laf and herc over, they watch movies and left the food alex made. They thought it was amazing, they left around one in the morning. Alex Called john to wish him a goodnight, when he didn't respond he just assumed he was busy. “Hey, i know you are most likely busy with all your doctor duties, but i just wanted to tell you laugh and herc just left. They enjoyed my food, goodnight I love you call me when you get this, love you again.” he turned off his phone and when to bed. When he woke up the next morning john was still not there. He tried to call john but go nothing, he did have a voice mail from him though.  _

_ “Hey honey it me, just wanted to tell you I love you with all my heart and you are amazing, wonderful and beautiful. I love love love love love you so so so so so so so much. And i will a 100% miss your horrible cooking. Stay safe, please i love you Alexander laurens-Hamilton with all my heart” the line went dead, alex started to panic, he call the hospital,  _

_ “Hello?” _

_ “Hello it's is alexander laurens-hamilton  doctor lauren's husband. I would like to know if he was there?” _

_ “Ah, you haven't found out yet.” _

_ “Found out what?” _

_ “Last night you may have know this but the prison went on lock down.” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Well after around 2:30 we did a count of all our employees we could not find doctor laurens, we can’t check the tapes because we were watching them for tips where the prisoner went. We can not find the prisoner of doctor laurens, we fear the prisoner took him and will soon be giving out a ransom.” alex’s heart stopped, he didn’t know what to do. Somehow his ended up on the ground and alex was screaming. At some point all of his friends were in his house, laf hercules the schuyler sisters and his adopted parents. They weren't trying to calm him down per say but they were trying to say something, show some kind of consciousness. But he didn’t, none of them left for two weeks only to get clothing and food for themselves. Be barely drank, ate or said anything, just sat there holding the picture of john and mumbling incoherently. It took him two weeks to say a word, laf told him it was ‘i'm so sorry’ but alex doesn't remember the two months after that _


	3. Chapter 3

Now it has been almost two years, the police have given up on finding him. They have moved on to bigger and more important cases. John’s mom decided to have a funeral for him but instead of his body (which they didn’t have) they filled it with stuff of his and pictures of him. Alex looked at the time, 4:30 he was sitting there for 3 hours. He walked down stairs to fix himself for coffee when he got a call from lafayette. 

“Hey laf.”

_ Hey piet lion, how are you? _

“Just looked at a bunch of pictures of my missing husband and thought about the night he disappeared for like three hours on the day of his so called funeral. So not good.”

_ Do you want me to come over? _

“No.”

_ Well i called because we are all going out to brunch at john’s favorite diner, do you want to come? _

“Yes i will meet you there.”

_ Good see you there. _

He hung up the phone and got changed into nicer clothing. He decided to wear john’s favorite green shirt, alex hasn’t worn it since john disappeared because it just hurt too much but he felt like he needed to, for him. He put let his hair down grabbed his phone and got in his car. He arrived at the restaurant almost the same time as everyone else.

“Hello alexander, how are you?”

“Good liza.” she gave him a hug and everyone went inside. Alex sad between laf and eliza, he really didn’t talk the whole time, no one forced him to. Angelica was angry at him for not being there but peggy and hercules got her to back off. 

“Well is everyone ready to go?” peggy asked, 

“Hey, um...why don’t we all come to my house and….um...hang out and talk about john.” alex asked quietly, everyone sympathetically smiled and nodded at each other.

“Sure alex why not.” hercules added,

“Great i just got to use the bathroom.” alex got up and walked to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror at his reflection. He looked like a mess, his hair was combed but all over the place, there where large bags underneath his eyes. His checks were sunken in from him not eating alot. Eyes red from crying, skin pale even though he was Hispanic. He splashed water on his face, he looked up, behind him was a man who looked very very familiar. He turned around, the man looked almost exactly like john, he had many freckles splashed across his face, his hair was curly but short. 

“J-john?” the man smiled

“I thought I told you to take care of yourself.” at that point alex fainted. 


	4. Chapter 4

When he woke up all his friends were around him, he was in his room.

“W-wha..”

“Alex what happened we found you passed out in the bathroom.” peggy asked concerned.

“I-i saw john.” everyone’s faces went sad,

“Alex honey you didn’t see john.”

“Y-yes i did, he was there but his hair was shorter but it was him I know it was!” alex sat up but they pushed him back down.

“No piet lion you didn’t-”

“I did! Her talked to me!”

“Really what did he say?” eliza asked clearly not believing him.

“H-he said ‘i thought I told you to take care of yourself’ then i passed out

“Alex have you been sleeping lately?”

“N-no well but-”

“There we go you were just hallucinating.”

“But I wasn't angelica!” alex managed to stand up but almost fell over immediately. 

“Alex please just lie down and get some rest.”

“I-if I do will you please believe me?”

“We will see.” alex nodded, he climbed back kin bed, everyone went to leave 

“Stay.” they all nodded and sat back down 


	5. Chapter 5

Alex awoke to people whispering,  

“I was worried this would happen.” 

“What do you mean laf?”

“He is going to have a mental breakdown.”

“I know we need to help him okay we can’t just tell him, we need to help him figure out its not real.”

“Shhh i think he is awake.” hercules added

“Heyyyyyyy”

“Hey guys….you still don’t believe me do you?” they all frowned, 

“No sorry honey but you didn’t see john.”

“No no eliza I did! I saw him in the bathroom he it was him!” alex stood up everyone grabbed him to try and get him to lay back down but he ripped out of there grasp. “NO! I saw him I did please believe me!” 

“Alex please just listen to yourself, he is dead, alex please this is hard for us too.” eliza said with tear rolling down her face. “Please.” he looked at all of them they were all crying. 

“I-i just need to be alone for a while.”

“Alex please be safe.” 

“I will laf.” he put his shoes on and ran out the door. It was winter and freezing, he walked to the park. The park was there special place, him and john's, they met there. Alex was sitting on the bench alone and cold. If it wasn’t for john the washington’s would have never fostered him soon to adopt him.

“ _ Hey you look cold.” a kid who looked significantly larger than him the nhim walked up to alex.  _

_ “I-am all right.”  _

_ “No your not you are freezing!” the man sat down next to him _

_ “Hey! I-im not freezing I am o-okay just leave me alone.” _

_ “You are going to freeze to death out here.” the man took off his coat and put it around alex. But alex being alex threw it off of him.  _

_ “Hey I don’t need it!” alex sneezed, _

_ “What do you mean it's like 15 degrees out here!” _

_ “It's not my first snow storm out in the cold.” _

_ “What do you mean you are just a kid!” _

_ “Wrong i m not just a kid I am 16!” _

_ “Wow really? I thought you were just like 11 or 12.” _

_ “Well your wrong.” _

_ “I am also 16, but i must ask again, why are you out here all alone? Do your parents know that you are out her without a jacket?” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Then we should go tell the-” _

_ “I don’t have any.” _

_ “Oh,i'm so sorry.” _

_ “Its okay you didn’t know.” they sat there for a little bit _

_ “So who do you live with? If you don’t mind my asking.” _

_ “well...I used to live with my foster parents but they didn’t want a burden like me so they kicked me out.” alex started shivering harder, the man gave him his jacket again this time alex didn’t shrug it off _

_ “I Know the feeling.” for the first time alex looked at the mans face, he has long beautiful curly hair. It was pulled back in a loose ponytail, his face looked like outer space he had freckles all voer his face. And his eyes were a soft chocolate brown. The man smiled he had the most beautiful smile _

_ “Ya my father kicked me out when I came out as gay.” _

_ “Oh that sucks, what was his name.” _

_ “Not important, not to be nosy but why did they kick you out.” _

_ “Well thinking I am never going to see you again in my life i will tell you. They could not handle my many many many anxiety and panic attacks, or my PTSD depression, constant talking and my suicidal tendencies. So they kicked me out!” alex laughed, _

_ “What is so funny?” _

_ “My life it fucking sucks.” _

_ “Nah I think mine was worse.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Yup.” _

_ “Okay. go.” _

_ “Ok fine, well my mother dies when i was like 4 my father started becoming cold and harsh. At first it was fine but when I came out as gay he started beating me and and being a total dick. He would send me to camp and facilities but they never worked, eventually he gave up and kicked me out. He is going to pay for my college though because my mother would never forgive him is he didn’t also my trust fund.” alex laughed, the man looked at him confused. “Does my misery amuse you?”  _

_ “Does my misery amuse you?” _

_ “No it's just my life was way worse.” _

_ “Okay tell me them.” _

_ “Okay, well it all started when i was around 6 sih, my father starting abusing my mom. For a while it was just her but he quickly got tired of her and started abusing me and my brother. He drank all our money away and was just a total dick. He left us when I was 10 leaving my mother me and brother alone penniless. My island was not like america being born a bastard was a horrible thing. Me and my brothers were pushed away by other and made fun of mother to provide for us would clean houses during the day and sell herself at night. So she was a disgrace to the whole town. She Was called a whore,my brother and I where bastards whore sons worthless pathetic. When I was 12 my mother and I got sick with I think the yellow fever they really didn’t know. My mother died, she told me she was also taking medicine but because we were poor she only had enough money for me. She dies holding me, i woke up and she was dead. We were immediately taken away to my cousins house, three months later he killed himself in front of me. Granite he didn’t know I was watching but still. After that not one wanted us, I got a job at a trading charter, we were doing okay granite we were still a disgrace but still. Two years later a horrible hurricane his our island killed everyone but me. Everyone died, bodies floating in the water…...well i was taken to america and put into foster homes, they would be nice for like two days but then they abuse would start. Some physical some mentally some um..you get the gist but ya. I soon got to the last one and they kicked me out. Here I am today.” _

_ “Wow shit your right, your is way worse.” _

_ “Yup.” _

_ “Well you can’t stay out here all night…...what is your name?” _

_ “Alexander hamilton, you?” _

_ “Wait wait wait, your alexander hamilton?” _

_ “You why?” _

_ “You were fostered at henry Lauren house?” _

_ “How did you know?” _

_ “My siblings told me, my name is john laurens!” _

_ “Wait seriously?” _

_ “YA!”  _

_ “Wow, where do you live now?” _

_ “The washington’s house.” _

_ “As in george washington!” _

_ “Ya best friends with the adoptive son.”  _

_ “That's so cool!” _

_ “I'm sure they would love to take you in.” _

_ “W-what! Really?” _

_ “Ya!” _

_ “Thanks, I think you said john laurens?” _

_ “Yup!” then they walked to the washingtons. They took him in almost instantly, soon adopted him, john and his started dating at years after he moving in. they dated all through college and got married there senior year. _


	6. Chapter 6

He sat down on the bench, he brushed away the snow. Underneath the snow was a A+J in side a heart. John and him carved it in to it on the 3 year anniversary. It started to snow harder,  _ shit forgot my coat _ .he still didn’t move he sat there and let the snow fall on him, by now he has been there for about 2  hours almost all of his friends have tried to call him by now but didn’t answer. He was starting to grow tired. He saw a man walk up to him but he didn’t look up.

“Hey you look cold.”alex wanted to look up but he didn’t have the energy, 

“J-john?”

“Hello alexander.”

“W-what are you d-doing h-here.”

“I'm looking out for you that's what I am doing.” john sat down next to him, he put his coat around his shoulder, it smelled exactly like him.

“A-are you real?” john didn’t answer “why can’t the others see you.” john didn’t answer that question either. “I miss you so so so much.”

“I miss you too.”

“Please come back i need you” alex started to cry, john confronted him

“No no, you don’t need me.”

“Please come back.”

“I can’t not yet.”

“Why not.”

“He will find me.”

“Who?”

“Hush now it doesn't matter, lets just sit here and be happy.”

“How can I be happy when I know you will be gone when I wake up.”

“Do you not believe I am here sitting next to you.”

“The others say I didn’t see you in the bathroom, and they will tell me I am not seeing you here either. Your not real just a figment of my imagination.”

“Well, if that is what you believe.” alex didn’t say anything, “do you?”

“I-i don’t know.”

“Tell me is this real?” john grabbed alex’s face kissed him, his lips were just like he remembered, warm and soft firm but tender. He pulled away and alex laid his head on his chest. It felt so real and solid. Prefect. “I am so proud of you alexander.”

“Really? Why?”

“You are so strong you handled my disappearance so well. I am proud of you honey I am so so so so so proud of you. I love you and just keep going okay?”

“Keep going?”

“Ya keep going keep moving one let the others help you. I have an Idea.”

“Really what is it?”

“Come here every Wednesday at let's say 11:45 I will be here every night at that time every Wednesday.”

“Really?” 

“Yes”

“O-okay.”

“Rest now alexander.” alex closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

When he woke up he heard a high pitch beeping. Next he felt  someone holding his hand, they were rubbing the top of his hand. It was a man's hand, he wanted to open his eyes but didn’t want to. So he let the person continue to mumble. 

“Hey honey how's he?”

“I don’t know martha.” it was his parents george and martha,

“What did the doctors say?”

“There has been no brain movement for the past three days. They say if there are no brain waves by Thursday they are...are going to p-pull the plug.”

“B-but tomorrow it Thursday.”

“I-i know but there is nothing they can do. All was can do it wait.” alex as thinking over the conversation in his head, wait Thursday….that means today is Wednesday. His thoughts were interrupted by martha again, 

“Honey it's 11:30 in the morning you need to go home-” 

“IT'S WEDNESDAY!” 

“Alex?!” they both jumped back at his sudden burst of life,h sat up instantly.”

“Y-you said today is Wednesday!”

“Well that's because it is.”

“Why honey?”

“I-i need to go!” alex tired to get up but the I?V stopped him, “ stupid IV!” he ripped it out of his arm.

“Alex stop one you just woke up, and two where do you need to go?”

“I-i need to go see john.” his parents gave him sad looks,

“Honey john is dead.”

“N-no he was at the park he was there he kissed me!”

“No he didn’t alex” martha tried to touch him, but he back up.

“NO! He was there i swear, he gave me a coat!”

“You were found with john’s coat but laf said you grabbed it before you left.”

“No alex you didn’t.”

“He told me to meet him at the park, Wednesday at 11:45! I need to go!” he tired to leave but george stopped him, alex tired to fight. He saw some people run in, alex thinks they were doctors but he was too busy fighting against george kicking and scratching but george was too strong. He felt a sharp pain in his arm, his arms started to go numb.  George passed alex off to martha, 

“Please i need to go..”

“Shhh shhh honey, it's okay you're safe you're okay.” 

“Please…” the darkness consumed him.


End file.
